Saturday, January 30, 2010

jan 28/daydreaming me

i was sitting down in a meeting, being tantalized, for not having passion. it dawned on me, i just don't.

this is not what i'm passionate about. if people asked me, why do i do what i do for a living. i would just say one word. ninta. i have to do it for her. i mean, at this moment, my life seems fine. my mother is still alive and well. she still provides care for my family, but what happens when everything stops. i have to be able to provide for her needs. and this is the answer.

if i have it my way... i wouldn't be here. this is not it. but i don't have the luxury to do my way. i have the choice of course, but it has its consequences.

so as i sit over there, still being tantalized for not having passion. i pictured myself in a 3x4 office, full of windows, a computer for me to work on my latest project. and if you come over to my office, i'll greet you with a smile, and a cup of great coffee...

it's my daydream, and no it's not stupid, and yes, i'll work my ass off to achieve it...

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