Tuesday, December 29, 2009

dec 29/again with the thanks

i thank god...
i thank god for everything he gave me
this gift, that allows me to share with people
this thoughts, the endless thoughts he gave me, even though @ times i cannot sleep because of it
but i love this gift he gave me

thank you for my friends
the ones i cherish for so long
the ones that come and go
the ones that i have the pleasure to enjoy their companies
thank you so much
god knows, how much color you've put in my life
each and every one of you

thank you for giving me joy
to do the thing that i love the most
thank you for giving me a reason to smile
a reason to live
i was put in the earth for a reason
and i hope i can fulfill it

thank you for my strength
thank you for my patience
thank you for my passion
thank you for testing me
so i can have higher limit

thank you for my past
my present
and my future

dec 28/pilas and her missing phone

pilas (well with her boyfriend account) sent me a blackberry messenger sunday night to tell me that her phone was missing. although it took me a while to figure out that pilas is actually the one who sent me the message (i know, she called me by my nick name already, i should've figured it out earlier... i'm sorry :D)

so the story was, she was out shopping in one of the prestigious mall in jakarta (that's why i can't believe there are pickpockets inside that mall, but there is...) and someone took her cellphone. taken aback for a while, and then just like lucy, i started laughing. because pilas without her phone, is just beyond imagination :)

just like me, she is dependent of her little blackberry. but then i imagined if such thing happened to me, my goodness... i mean, all the contacts, and not to mention the personal accounts, my goodness....

so i'm not laughing anymore. from now on, i won't take my stuff for granted. i have to guard it with care... even if it is in the most secure place...

Monday, December 28, 2009

dec 27/what's this...what's this??

What's this? What's this?
There's color everywhere
What's this?
There's white things in the air
What's this?
I can't believe my eyes
I must be dreaming
Wake up, Jack, this isn't fair
What's this?

and i finally got a copy for me!!!
the dvd of "nightmare before christmas"

finally!!!! i can watch jack singing "what's this" over and over again!!!

me LOVE!!!!!!!

nightmare before christmas made me fell in love with tim burton. i LOVE his movies. dark, twisted, cool... :) i love his artworks... and now all i have to do is buy the original soundtrack...

Saturday, December 26, 2009

dec 26/otong's tantrum

this morning i woke up normally. no bad feelings, nothing. after all, it's the day after christmas, and i'm off to do my morning gig @ indika fm.

after last night gig, i'm looking forward for today's show. i mean, i'm going to kick some ass.

it wasn't the case. for some reason i've lost my mood. and the show ended up to be flat. ow well... at least i got some time to edit some pics, and hopefully i can finish some up tomorrow too (it was supposed to be tonight, but suddenly i didn't feel like it)

and otong had a tantrum today. i had finished with my gig, and i pressed down the alarm to open the door. suddenly i felt something wrong, the weak reply from otong was not a good sign. and then i got my answer. otong won't start. yaaaaayyy his battery is off. *yaay me*

so i have to ask for the security guys to push otong, so i can turn him on (why can't i have a normal boyfriend, that got turned on normally) and i went down to the nearest shop, and replace his battery.

gotta love saturday huh? :)

dec 25/xmas morning thoughts

it's christmas, my favorite holiday. i don't celebrate it, but i LOVE it. i think there's something about christmas that makes me feel like home... columbus home. i love the atmosphere, and everything about it. i just wish it snows in indonesia, so i can feel closer to home :)

this morning, i woke up with the smell of food in the house, yes boys and girls, mommy's making breakfast. well, her favorite daughter (read: my little sister) is home, so special treatment we get :)

so because of my early start, i took my bath a little early too. so i had sometime in front of the bathroom mirror and looked at myself. and it dawn on me, that God gave me everything at the right moment.

well, part of it is in the wake of my cousin's (almost) nervous breakdown. she's 19, living on her own in bandung, and i don't think she can handle the pressure. so i thankful, to God, that he gave me my 'freedom' and everything at the right age.

i can see it now... i just have to be patient, because god will give me everything at the right moment.

i thank god that he didn't give me a major radio gig until i past my 20s, because i know i couldn't handle the pressure, i would not be ready, and i don't have the sense of self yet.

i thank god that it took me sometime to have a stable job. so i know how to manage my money *somewhat* :p

i thank god that i didn't have a boyfriend when i was in high school... god knows what would happen if i did :)

so everything in my life happen in the right time... just have to be patience... that time will come :)

Friday, December 25, 2009

dec 24/and then we are complete

i came home after a long trip... well, 5 days is pretty long. it seems like forever i haven't seen my folks. and when my mom looked @ me she's like, "your face all messed up."

i love you too mommy.... :)

and then we spent two hours waiting for ndut in the airport. me, mommy, and bapak. finally when ndut arrived, we rode home (me driving, i don't see the concept of getting picked up when i'm the one who has to drive though) anyway... while i was driving, i am smiling to myself. here we are, we're complete, everyone's home :)

i miss my sister dearly, the house seems empty without her watching tv in front of my room, and her occasional laughs when she watched the shows she loves. or her reaction when she found out that one channel had a show she loves :)

so then we are 4... and now, everything's complete... :)

dec 23/backpacker borju

okay, it's supposed to be a hush hush trip... so hush!!!! :)

ever since i knew i was going to have the seminar in the mystical land, i've been eyeing pilas for a trip to dreamland. and of course we have to drag tikki along with us... :D and if it wasn't for dewi, the trip would never happened anyway, because all three of us are procrastinator :p
she handled our itineraries if she didn't do that, we might never took this trip :)

so backpacking we go... and dreamland is the destination


but before we even took this hush hush trip to the dreamland, we found out that our flight is kinda back to back with our bosses' flight. okay, if you're trying to skip a day of work from the office to enjoy a day in a sun, that is not a good idea. especially for me, who just found out that the whole staff from my division is in that flight. small airport ngurah rai is... so the chance of us running into each other is about lessay.... 65% :)
well, a couple of glitch... i met the guy that sat right behind me... but hey, he's cool and we're off to go to dreamland!!!

we only have a day in dreamland, so we decided to tour around the gilis. there are three gilis in dreamland, gili trawangan, gili meno, and gili air. ow, but before i continue with the story, there is someone in the trip, no need to mention names, who didn't want to snorkel @ first, because she didn't have the right gear with her. after pilas talked her down, that made me laughed my ass off in the plane, she agreed to snorkel, and turned out to be the mermaid that didn't want to surface. whatevs :)

when we touched down in dreamland, we were famished, after meeting pilas' good friend roni (he's a dear, really is) we rode a taxi to sate rembige, which is the best beef sate in town... so i've told. it's so frickin' spicy it's not even funny, but it's good as heck!!! :)

off we go in the morning, the four girls, in the dreamland. and pilas said that the port/dock is nearby, so we were going to walk up there. yeah, pilas didn't get her info right :) so after a phone call to roni, we took the cab to the dock. so if you are going to the gilis, just take the boat from 'bangsal' it cost around 10 thousand for the public boat. but there has to be @ least 20 - 25 people on board before the boat leave the dock. how you get to bangsal, the best way i can suggest you is by taking the cab, blue bird, not the other cab. it'll cost you around 80 thousand rupiah, but if you get cool cab driver, he could be really useful, ours was pak zakirin (081933155282) call him up when you're going to dreamland, he's really informative.

if you didn't want to take the public boat like we did, just rent the boat for the whole day, the prices ranged from 500 thousand rupiah to 900 thousand, depending on what you want to do. so we rented the boat for 600 thousand rupiah, and we would take trips to 3 gilis, and snorkel.


our first stop, gili trawangan...
my first impression of this island was, everlasting spring break. the villas are designed for a spring break party. with people hanging out in the pool, and sipping their bears, i'm getting a frat house feelings :)
ow yeah, in gili trawangan, they do not allow any cars or motorbike. so all they have for transportation in 6 square km island is cidomo, a horsedrawn carriage. but you can just walk around the island, the vibes and the atmosphere of the island just sinked in on you, and you'll love it! so we walked from the dock to the cafe where we put our stuff in.
on the way we stop for some gelato... by the by it's good and it's cheap :) we loved it!!!


so off to the cafe, and getting our gear for snorkeling, and for the first snorkel-time, i actually had a life-vest on. mind you, i can't swim :p i can, but not that good... i'm sorry, i'm THAT pathetic :) so off we go to snorkel. my god, it's beautiful. and the crazy thing is, we do not need to go off shore to enjoy the beautiful corals, all we have to do is swim a little bit, and then we would see the wonder that it has.
it was a lot of fun (ow i forgot, tikki requested me not to praise lombok too much, so not many people would come there... but i can't lie) the place is beautiful!!!!!

after the crowded and spring-break-ish gili trawangan, off to gili meno. well it turns out to be an empty island with bird park inside it. but we were not in a bird-park mood. so we got off the boat just to snaps some pics (available on my flickr page =) )

we were again... famished, but our guide, eddy (the cool guide with a mullet =P) told us we better reserve some space in our stomach for gili air. so we told him to get us there immediately :)

off to gili air we go. it is the last gili, and lemme tell you, this gilli i fell for =)


i mean, gili trawangan is fun, and if you like crowds and parties, gili trawangan is the best place (with cheap drinks and everything) but if you want to contemplate, and just be... gili air is a place you should go. it's quiet, and it's family friendly.
and yes, the coral is prettier than the ones in gili trawangan.

it's definitely a place to visit again in this life time. that's why i'm putting it down on the trip i am going to take (preferably with my family... my future family)

so because of the short time, we didn't have the time to check out other beaches... but dreamland, all in all, is a must-see place :)

dec 22/ happy mother's day

me and my mom never really see eye to eye
she is an old-fashioned lady, who thinks sex jokes are inappropriate, she's very spiritual, and wake up around the same time every day. never smokes a cigarette let alone a joint, never tasted alcohol, always home on time (when she was my age), doesn't fool around, only have one boyfriend, i bet she didn't kiss when she was dating. she is a respected lady, and there just a leader aura around her. sure it makes people uneasy at times, because she's so distant with everyone, but hey, she's mommy... :)

and today is mother's day, i called her and tell her happy mother's day... and her response was.... "ow, it's today isn't it???"

yeah well mommy, it is... so happy mother's day, and thank you for bringing me into this world. i might not be as lady-like as you... but i'm thankful i have a mommy like you :)

*love mommy*

dec 21/and it's on!!!!!!!

okay, so i slaved myself for 11 semester at school, earning my hard-earned degree... and here it is. the purpose of my life... bringing the tray for the minister :)

well, i might be too sarcastic, but hey it's true.. i mean... by show of hands, who over here is really having their dream job, and have it just as they learned it in college. exactly my point. even when you get your dream job, your task, might not be what you dreamt of...

so... i'll take the tray girl right now, but take notes mr. minister, i will be as successful as you too!!! maybe not in this field, but i believe i will be big :)

and one more thing, no matter what happened in this world, i have wonderful set of friends by my side... and i am blessed :)

Thursday, December 24, 2009

dec 20/comparing notes with pilas

so me and pilas are stuck in a hotel for the whole day, because we have to wait for a vip who NEVER comes... well, partly it was not his fault though, his flight was delayed for SIX hours!!!! so we feel partly sorry for him.

so while the rest of roro jongrang slaves are out on the field trying to please him @ the last minutes :p *covering unfinished temples with cardboard and hoped to god roro jongrang missed it* we were stuck in another hotel, and no, we cannot go back and joined the other slaves, because GOD FORBID the vip would come unexpectedly.

so oh well, the hotel was nice actually. a sea-side hotel, with a nice beach and beautiful view, and a nice restaurant :)
so off we were, ordering stuff on the menu, and chow down some of their finest (not that good though for the money we paid). anyway... @ that time, we didn't know yet that we'll be spending the whole day in the hotel... then comes the wonderful sms saying that his flight was pushed back for another 3 hours... and we have to entertain ourselves. so we both decided to check out the pool. not the best pool there is, but hey, we'll take it. but mind you, none of us have any swim gear on... for godsake, we thought we were there for WORKING, not swim gear for working :) so before we decided to check out the pool, we checked out our undies first. thank god for our love of lingerie :p we both wearing them (not that we expected to get lucky @ all :p) so... we decided our undergarments are decent enough for us to take our clothes off in public :) so hanging out on the pool we did.

for the whole day, we hung out on the pool, but it get old you know, dressing half naked, sleeping under the tree, with the cool breeze and the sound of the ocean :)
so we're back @ the hotel lobby to wait some more.

me and pilas are two peas in a pod. we think alike in some ways, and we kinda have the same past. i don't know how the conversation leads there, but we ended up comparing notes. the thing i always love about pilas is that she doesn't sugar-coated things. she'll say things as is, and i love that about her. as we snicker that afternoon, comparing our escapades, and it's just funny. i don't know, i never had any chance to be THAT blunt about my sex life to anyone, it kinda feels great to have a person to share that with...

so all in all, the day was not a complete lost :)

Sunday, December 20, 2009

dec 19/ different island, different time zone, different world

are any of you familiar with the legend of one thousand temples?

legend has it, that there was once a beautiful damsel by the name of roro jongrang, and she caught the eyes of one bandung bondowoso. bandung bondowoso was not a sight to see, no he is not. and there is no chance in hell that roro jongrang would take his proposal and became his bride.
the thing is, bandung bondowoso is a very powerful man, with very short temper. hence, roro jongrang has to find another way to say no than saying the obvious.
so she is thinking of an impossible task, a task she knew no men could ever achieved. she asked him to build her one thousand temples in a night. now, now, bandung bondowoso was not an ordinary man...no he's not. and one thousand temples he will built... with the help of genies (or was it elves) he did all he could to have roro jongrang as his wife.
roro jongrang, in the state of panic, knew that bandung bondowoso would fulfill her "impossible" task. but she did not want to become bandung bondowoso wife (well... from what i know, bandung bondowoso is a bad-ass, and i like a bad ass :p... anywaaaaaaaayyy). and roro jongrang is a very smart woman. she is thinking of a way to stop bandung bondowoso. as the temple became 999, she woke up her ladies in waiting and command them to start grinding (okay don't get any ideas) rice... and she also burned some hay, so the roosters thought it's morning already.
in triumph, roro jongrang came up to bandung bondowoso and claimed that he had not fulfilled the task. angry because of her tricks, bandung bondowoso cursed her and made her the last temple, to complete the one thousand temple.

there boys and girls, is the tale of the one thousand temple (give or take).

what does it have to do with my entry? well, i'm steppin on this island again for the first time since he broke my heart. it's his land. now, it doesn't mean anything, for the feeling has gone, and vanish into thin air. anyway, i'm here for the national seminars, which was held in the new guest house complex of the office. the thing is, this complex was not even half done a month before (okay, maybe i am a LITTLE exaggerating) but now, it's almost complete (well, from the look of it :p).
so... i think...i think... bandung bondowoso is not a legend, he's actually exists... and building the complex right now, along with his gnomes, genies, and all those wonderful creatures....

Saturday, December 19, 2009

dec 18/inconsistency....

yep, i have a problem with that one.... i'm inconsistent, and i'm also a commitaphobe.

i'm sorry, that's just the way i am. i run @ times. because i'm scared of commitment.

this reflects on my project. but i do try to keep up everyday and i'm sorry if i have to miss a few.

let's try to be more committed this time, and more consistent :)

dec 17/ again with the question

mommy asked me "do you really need to keep your job in the radio."
i only looked at her without answering the question.
then she continues, "you do need time for yourself you know."

my heart screams, for the umpteenth time, she asked me to give up my radio job. i've broke up with my longtime boyfriend because he didn't like this job. now she's asking me to give it up. really, it's like taking the ball away from beckham (alright, i exaggerate it a bit... but really).

about 'me' time, my time on the mic is me time. every time i pushed on the fader is me time. every time i'm in my playground, is me time.

this is what i wanted to do in my life. it was supposed to be the only thing that i do, until i have to compromise with her need. and i don't even know why she kept asking me to give it up. because if i do, i'd loose half of me. worse than breaking up with a guy (trust me, i've done it too many times for my lifetime... i don't get people who date around, really, because it's hard to break up)

ow well... i'm keeping the mic, as long as i can. but when the time comes to give it up, i'll give it up. you can't stay young forever right :)

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

dec 16/10 most romantic songs

kid asked me the other day... what is 10 most romantic songs in my opinion, but not cheesy ones. that crosses off bsb right out the window then =D let alone "2 in the morning" by NKOTB =)
so, as a lyric listener... i gave him my 10. i didn't exactly remember the exact 10, but i tried to keep it as accurate as possible.

i remember giving him an imogen heap... and it would be "swoon". i LOVE imogen heap (which probably why i would give ANYTHING to go to her concert on march :) and swoon is one of the many great songs from imogen. it describes how it feels like to be in love, to adore the person, and promises the person all the things in the world.

and another one that i remembered for sure was "till kingdom come" by coldplay. maybe i didn't pay attention much to this song @ first, but hey, it's one of the most romantic song, really. the devotion on the lyric, seriously... can't wait 'till i hear that song in my wedding :)

i knew i included lifehouse "everything" too... i don't know if it's not cheesy, but the wording, in my humble opinion (when you blurted out an opinion it's never humble :p anyway....) is one of the beautifully written lyric. seriously. read the lyric, it's so desperately romantic =D

i could never left out 3eb "god of wine" in collection of romantic songs. it's so haunting, and it's just one beautiful song about someone who's longing for the one they love. it's a sad love song i know, but hey... it fits the bill

this is the point where i start making up my answers, because i can't remember much anymore :D

one of the most romantic song would be something corporate "she paints me blue". something in the lyric "wondering how i could get so deep, and you can still get sleep". another sad love song, which makes me wonder, why am i keep picking sad love song.

ow, something strikes back, i know for sure i included snow patrol "signal fire". it's apollo's theme :) it opens up with "a perfect world never cross my mind 'till there was nothing in there but you" how can't you call that romantic....

gotta include dave matthews band right?? "crush" would be it. oh god, "crazy i'm thinking knowing that the world is round, and here i am dancing on the ground, am i right side up or upside down, is it me, or am i dreaming".

one disney song i just remembered, that ndut said, it's the most romantic disney song, love theme from pocahontas "if i never knew you". oh yes, it is romantic, and knowing how their love ended, it's just make it even better :)

one of the most desperate plea i found in a song is in blink 182's "down". it's one of my best one liner "pick me up now, i need you so bad". how could you resist this plea?!

and of course!!!! landon pigg "falling in love at the coffee shop"!!! well said... well put... that's my 10 for now :)

dec 15/flashes

as i drove home, i've seen flashes of you
i smiled, as i remembered the way you smiled
it didn't bring me pain anymore
remembering you
for an obvious reason, it brought me joy

the pain has ceased, in a way
not because of someone new
because of acceptance
i accept that you left
i accept that you can't fight

have i wish for things to be different?
oh yes, i very much so
i wish you would take out your swords
and charged at the dragons like you did the first time
i wish you would scream to the world
how much i meant to you

but things are not what i wished for
and i've accepted that
i've understood
i've rested

now i smiled
as your image became clearer
as the time goes by
what does it means?
i don't know
but all i know, right now, i can picture you with a smile

and that... i can live with

Monday, December 14, 2009

dec 14/the world of sookie stackhouse

i took a day off today, it was a hectic week last week. seriously, i was home after hour almost every single day. true part of it is to avoid being home. a lot of stuff happened lately, and i don't really want to be home too soon.

well, anyway, being home made me catch up with my 'true blood'. so i was the couch potato... or in my case, carpet potato :) i sat in front of alice with the tv on almost all day long (the rest i catch up on some snooze :p) gosh the town of bon temps are really getting more interesting as the day goes by.

and something really strikes my mind, what is it about vampires these days? they just became the hot item for entertainment industry these days... well it was witch and wizard few years back, but hey, i guess it's vamp's time.

but yeah, quoting ms. lely, why are vampires hot and sexy... well yeah, i get it, if you want to live forever might as well be at your best shape. well, i guess vampires don't really have bodya image issues =D which brought me thinking... might be a good idea to vamp up right now, before i become chubbier :p

ow well, that's just me and my my too much idle thoughts.

but all in all, i belive, and this is not what ugly people say, beauty do come from within. because the most beautiful people i know... are not physically beautiful :) *aaaaaaahhh another blog topic to think about* :p

dec 13/ three years and counting


i had a photo session with my fellow announcers, it was a lot of fun, to get to capture them, can't believe it's been three years that i'm there. yeah sure i have my ups and down, but i love the place. it's full of goblins and goodleybooks i'm sure, but it is a great place to be when i'm down.

i always have my fun there, i can always be myself there. i call it my playground. true it's not the "heaven on earth" but hey i always love my hell. it's been nice three years i've been through. i hope i can be there a while longer :)


Saturday, December 12, 2009

dec 12/to the next phase

as the hairstylist blow-drying my hair today, i sat there and wonder how many times have i done this. how many times have i sit here, in somewhat same seat, and getting dressed for someone else's wedding. and this time, it happens to be one of my best friend's time.

don't get me wrong, i LOVE dressing up... but it's just always in the back on my mind, is there going to be a time when the spot light is on me...

well, i'm not REALLY longing for it, but it would be nice, to dress up one day, knowing, that the man of your dream is waiting for you outside. knowing that the rest of your life will change, no more you and me... it'll be us.

ow well, i'm sure lucy'll have a laugh reading this entry, but i do... long for the time when i dress up, for my own party, and you... out there waiting for me :)

dec 11/normalcy

what is 'normal' anyway?

i mean, it's taken from the word 'norm' right? means something that is agreed upon on a society. so there is no such standard about 'normal'. only something that a lot of people is agreeing upon.

so... if the majority said it's okay to shout out loud in the middle of a wake.. then it is normal. if the majority said it's okay to laugh when someone's crying, then it is normal. if the majority said it's okay to walk around with your undies in your head.... then by god, it's normal :)

me, i'm not too fond of mainstream. i like to define my life...mine. tragically, sometimes it is not the case. but hey, you can't win it all right? :) but whenever i can...i try my hardest to walk off the side of mainstream :)

well, there's nothing wrong with walking to the opposite direction and find your own normalcy right?



two roads diverged in a wood, i took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference

-robert frost "the road not taken"

Friday, December 11, 2009

dec 10/the world of lucifer, toa masjid, and the flying pig


okay... i know, bizarre right??

that's the three girls that went out on friday eve my friends. we're probably the weirdest bunch in our department.... *dare to say*

so it was movies and tranny :P
we had the chance to see this indie movie "north" which they acclaimed to be drama comedy... but it turns out to be drama...drama...drama....ow yeah there's a funny scene.. that's all :)
but the funny scene was memorable though, and lesson learned, do not tie yourself on your snow mobile if you're camping on the top of a frozen lake, because... you'll be dragged down when the ice cracked. well, the comedy of the night would be toa masjid winning the doorprize (doorprize... not doorprice... inside joke) and we said she would rather have the guy's phone number than the actual prize :)

after an interesting indie session, we drove down to see some tranny, which toa masjid is always excited about :p

all in all it was fun, it was loud, we should do it again sometime...

well, maybe not in the near future ya toa masjid, my ears really need some recovery :) *love you ga!!!!*

Thursday, December 10, 2009

dec 9/driving with bapak

i'm sorry, i fell asleep last night and forgot to type in the daily blog... but here goes the highlight of my yesterday... :)

i love my dad... don't get me wrong, i love him with all my heart. i'm daddy's little girl (or in my case, bapak's little girl) he protects me like i am this fragile china @ times... but i secretly love it!! :) but.... when it comes to driving with him... omigod!!!! my dad and car... is not the best match.

so, my dad wanted to go to HI yesterday, to see the rally for anti corruption. well, he jumped in with me as i made my way to the office. i don't mind the company, 2 hours driving can be lonely @ times, but for the love of god, the man could not shut his mouth!!! :P he commented on EVERY SINGLE DETAILS of things that he sees. as i'm driving, i was cursing in the inside every time he commented about the traffic, the way people drive, the motorcycle, the road signs...argggggghhh!!!

but at the end... i realized... all he wanted was just to spend time with me. and he's not like me, he's not the type of person who can sit next to someone and not conversing. and i KNOW i'm going to miss it someday. and i do value my time with him. if i put all the annoyance aside, he is one hell of a person. i love him with every heartbeat i have, and he has SO MUCH wisdom to share.

i love my dad, and i am sure i'm going to miss the moment when i can listen to him. even though right now i am annoyed by his so-called wisdom, one day, i'm going to tell my kids how i used to drive around with their grandpa and how he wouldn't shut his mouth, and what kinds of things he would tell me on the road. and i'm sure i would be as chatty as he is now... for i am bapak's little girl :)

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

dec 8/my life in a cup of coffee

:)
i love my coffee...
ever since i was in high school, i always loved coffee. i love it back when i was working as a cashier in BP Express (my god, that would be 11 years ago!!! :p) at that time i like my coffee with cinnamon and hazelnut creamer. oh god, they're the best!!! i would snuck out a couple creamer from the store (i'm tight with my manager, so she won't fire me for it) and THAT was my first preference for a cup of coffee. with cinnamon and hazelnut creamer.

and when i was studying for the college entrance test, i like my coffee black. just straight up black! seriously, well... 3 tablespoon of coffee and 1 teaspoon of sugar. hell yeah!!! and it will keep me up all night :) but as it turned out, it wasn't good for my stomach. and yes, i had ulcers right after i was accepted into college... but hey, my infatuation for coffee did not cease.

and i began searching for the perfect coffee again, nescafe moccachino was the answer (and by the way, that is still my generic cup of coffee) the smell, the taste, gosh i love it so much. one cup a day, and it brightens my life :) (i know that's exagerating)

okay, now i am able to stand on my own feet, i can afford my own gas, pay most of my bills, sooooooooooo i am entitled for a cup of overpriced coffee right??? so right now, my cup of coffee would be hazelnut latte (or for this holiday season is dark cherry moccachino) :)

i love my coffee, i took pride of it, and it's just one of the highlight of my day...

Monday, December 7, 2009

dec 7/phone call from niez

i was driving down to mommy's office to pick her up (yes the pigs are flying, i am able to pick up my mom from her office, imagine that!!!!) and my phone rang. i saw the caller id, and smiled to myself. as always, every year... and i know she would come up with the same excuse. but it's okay, i love her all the same.

so i answered the phone, and the familiar squeaky voice was heard, "babe."

"what's up?"

"what's today's date?"

"the seventh."

"dammit, really, gosh i missed it again, every year!" (and yes, she does this, EVERY YEAR :p)

"it's okay really."

"i remembered the day before, and i kept reminding myself to call you yesterday."

"i know niez, i love you too."

and the rest of the conversation was about life, hers and mine in general (um... more hers than mine :p)

niez is one of my best friend in college. well, me and her always have this weird relationship, we're not THAT close, but we're close enough. she was always 2 steps ahead of me. she has the higher GPA, she graduated before me (i think it was a year before me). she had all these cool jobs while i was still messing around with my final paper. but right now, the luck turned.

it's funny how life turns out. i thought she's going to be this powerful woman @ a company, sexy and taking control of her life. but it didn't turn out that way.

ow well, life has its funny way huh? which reminded me, i was talking to febry, a friend who went with me to my trip to neverland. he told me, "being lucky is so much more valuable than being smart."

and i do believe that with all my heart. me... with my humble gpa, who nobody thought i'm going to make it anywhere, but sitting here, typing on alice, that i bought with my own money (well my mom gave me a loan, i'm paying for it every month :D) have 1 job to pay the bill, 1 job to keep my sanity, and a hobby that could generate cash.

i am thanking God each and everyday for my luck, and for everything i have and everything i don't have.

give sometime to do that with your life :)

Sunday, December 6, 2009

dec 6/precious time :)







i know that title could be interpreted to so many different things in my world, but for today, it really means precious time.

i thank god today that i have amazing people with me in this life. makes this journey easier. and i got to spend this precious day with them today.

it's been a while for all 8 (plus one elang) of us are in the same room together. and today we were. i threw jokes like it was nothing. we share laughs, and it feels like old time.

sure, there have been break ups between us, fights, mishaps... but hey, we were all in the same room, just like old time. and guys, that is the best bday gift that you've given me :) thank you so much!!!

i love you guys, and i hope we will always be this way... well in one way or another :)

everyday i'm 27

see, i've been talking about a project that i would do for a while right.... so here it is :)
i'm going to write about anything that's going on that stuck on my brain everyday from today until next year :)
well, i just think that i need to keep up with my feelings, and exercise my brain a little bit

so, as long as i have a decent internet connection, there will be blog update everyday, and it might be unimportant stuff i came up with, but hey... bear with it :)

along with that, this project will be on flickr too. so everyday i'm going to take a photograph (whether it's selfies or any object that i see that day)

i'm hoping i am sticking to this project 'till the end. so excited, looking forward for a great year!!!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

one year ago

i've been meaning to post this, but i couldn't get a decent internet connection in this past week :)
this is what i went through a year ago... well between november 25th to december 2nd. it was my last adventure before i became 'boring' :p i hope you enjoyed this. i wrote this a year ago, and it's a bit long, so before anything, thank you for reading :)

hi all!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i have a story to share...

well, first off, gue bukan nyombong yaks, dan mudah2an ada pelajaran yang bisa diambil sama temen2 dari perjalanan gue ini :P
as some of you know, gue kemaren jadi innocent bystander yang kena imbas dari penutupan bandara suvarnabhumi (i'm there for a week i still have no f'n idea how the hell to spell that :P) yang bikin gue super panik, karena gue harus harus harus ada di jakarta tanggal 3 desember buat upacara di kantor baru yang menyenangkan itu (bebas ular untuk sementara soalnya di tengah kota bukan di kampung... i'm sorry inside joke hehehehehe) and yes, i have willingly and voluntarily admitted myself to another psych ward hehehehe nggak gue emang daftar di PU dan alhamdulillah masuk, it's a thing you do when you grow up you see, you have to accept certain things, changes your path, and compromise with reason, it's for my parents, they deserve it, god knows how bad of a daughter i've been to them... anyway......................
moving on, karena gue harus di jakarta sebelum jam 7 tanggal 3 desember, jadi yaaaaaaa i have to be creative and find any means of transportation to go home....
agak panjang ya novelnya :P, secara ini cerita detail kejadiannya, especially the last days, jadi kalo ada waktu mau dibaca silahkan... dan nama2 di tulisan ini nggak ada yang diganti atau disamarkan, because i'm so grateful for each and everyone of them :) and btw my friend from outside geo, my friends from college call me taz, and sometimes i refer myself as tessi... so there's no confusion :), oh yeah i wrote this in indglish :P so.. :D

first off, let me tell you the kind of chronology of this mess....

well, the PAD (or we just call it the yellow shirt, yellow shirt ya bo, bukan yellow jackets, kalo yellow jackets kan anak UI...bangga bener LOL) anyway, the PAD had been protesting in thailand for quite sometime now, if i'm not mistaken they've been protesting since may outside the government buildings, but no words or no action has been taken by the PM (somchai... or ex PM right now) and then on november 25th they decided to take the airport, knowing it'll do great damages and it'll put somchai in a lot of pressure. a smart move btw to get international attention, really if i wasn't trapped in there or if i didn't have my thing @ the 3rd, i would join them, and i am really giving them standing ovation for their action... tapi yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... gara2 mereka gue jadi setengah gila gitu deh di bangkok

hari pertama, gue kira it was nothing, you know, it's the airport, INTERNATIONAL airport... so you know, if there's anything, the government would take care of it immediately, karena ya menyangkut kepentingan orang banyak, nggak cuma orang thailand, tapi warga dunia juga, so i took it lightly, and when my mom called and tell me to go home i just told her "it's nothing mom, relax"

boy how i was wrong... tapi gue nggak apatis juga sih (secara omongan nyokap) gue ngecek2 jadwal penerbangan di chiang mai sama di phuket (2 bandara international yang punya penerbangan air asia dari situ ke kuala lumpur), just in case, tapi tololnya gue, karena gue ngerasa things will get better tomorrow, ya nggak gue booking... i wish i had though :(

the second day, i turned on the tv, not understanding even an inkling of the word (except sawasdee and kapunka, and when they agree they said kap...kap...kap which sounds like the raven on the street :P) tapi image yang gue liat buset, nggak ada perubahan... tessi mulai panik LOL
pas gue makan pagi, gue nemuin kevin (temen gue di SPAFA.. yang nyelenggarain conference-nya red.) dan gue nanya sama dia, gimana situasinya. trus dia bilang "no changes yet, and i'm afraid it'll get worse" jreng!!!!! tessi makin panik lagi. trus gue discuss sama dia, soalnya abis conference itu gue ada business meeting sama dia tentang proyek gue, karena kita kerja bareng emang, SEAMOLEC, SPAFA, dan satu lagi APCEIU (mau tau kepanjangan masing2... ya lo google aja lah, kan udah gede) masalahnya kalo kayak gini caranya hari jumat (which is the next day, hari kedua ini hari kamis) tim gue mau dateng untuk ikut rapat, so menurut gue kalo tim gue nggak dateng, it's no use to have the meeting. ya yang mau dibahas, harus dengan tim gue nggak bisa gue sendiri. trus dia bilang nanti bakal kita diskusiin sama jeongmin (pihak APCEIU). okay, tessi berharap jeongmin bakal waras dan bilang ya udah kita cancel aja meeting ini kita liat bisa ketemu di mana lagi. that was not the case, she still insisted on the meeting with whoever we have right now, which really pisses me off in some ways, ya gue yang udah panik gila gitu, dia yang nyantai2 aja. dan sama sekali nggak mikir jalan pulang, sedangkan gue udah berputar otak gimana caranya pulang. dan tim gue nggak bisa dateng, gue udah bilang untuk dibatalin aja itu pesawatnya.

hari ketiga ya bo... gue heran, kok belon ada perubahan ya... well, gue nanya sama temen gue di spafa lagi, namanya jay, whether there are changes or not, dia bilang "the airport still closed" jreng jeng!!!! trus gue bilang deh sama dia "in that case could you book me a flight from phuket to KL." dan hari itu gue emang rencana mau skip conference-nya 1/2 hari dan ketemu sama temen gue. it's done, jadi ya.. gue nggak tau apa2 sampe jumat sore. pas gue telpon orang spafa lagi jumat sore, namanya paew (gue manggil dia phi paew, phi in thai means kakak), she is really my hero my savior my everything lah, ya udah gue telpon nanya reservasi gue trus dia bilang "ada flight yang direct dari phuket ke jakarta, tapi kita liat dulu ya, kamu masih waiting list di flight itu, besok pagi saya kasih tau lagi"
*sigh* agak lega, karena ada direct flight from phuket to jakarta, mudah2an dapet. malem ini gue mau makan dinner bareng temen2 gue di bangkok...i'll just worry about that tomorrow then.

hari sabtu, which is hari ke 4, gue meeting dong. meeting sialan yang nggak bisa diundur itu (nggak boleh sih gue bilang meeting itu meeting sialan, gara2 meeting itu gue juga bisa pergi :P) my korean partner, masih nyantai2 (god bless her really), gue agak2 anxious, soalnya gue belon tau tiket gue udah ada ato belon. pas makan siang, langsung lah, bagai petir di siang hari, p'paew nelpon dan bilang "there's no available seat for you for the phuket flight, and all flight from phuket and chiang mai, and krabi all full booked." sehari sebelumnya sih emang gue udah buka message di facebook gue dari rully hadis (my good colleague in indika) telling me that all means of transportation to get out of thailand is all booked until december 8. biar mampus nggak tuh, that means included, the train, and the express busses. gue panik, sepanik2nya cpns yang harus upacara tanggal 3 dan belon resign dari kantor lamanya panik :D and i even consider renting a car and drive my skinny ass out of thailand myself, but the idea went away as quickly as it comes, and i was glad i had a comfort (a tall glass of heinneken...no :P seriously no...) tapi setelah meeting itu, baru deh tuh orang korea satu panik, nggak bisa pulang juga, dalem hati gue kemana aja ni bocah 2 hari yang lalu, saat gue kebakaran jenggot sendirian dan dia nyante2 aja... emang lola (loading lama), eager to get on the internet that day, jeongmin itu masih sempet2an nanya sama gue "do you want to go shopping tonight??" OMG jf'nc!!!! gue udah nggak mikir belanja lagi kaleee, gue pengen pulang, gue harus pulang, gue bilang "no, i want to spend a quiet time @ my room" tapi dia bilang sih "we're going out to a drink tonight, so if you want to come and let loose you're welcome." and i said "okay we'll see."
setelah gue bebas dari cengkraman tu bocah, gue langsung pergi ke warnet yang sangat gue cinta itu... ternyata nggak buka bo, jadilah gue pake warnet tempat laen, dan ketemu orang2 pilipin yang dari conference juga, and btw stranded juga kayak gue. with them i feel more relaxed, i don't know, i just feel more comfortable with the philipines, mereka tu bisa ketawa2 disituasi yang tolol ini. and i feel a little better too after my time in the internet, and decided to calm down and take some SP (self portraits) @ rama 8 bridge. and i found this SP theraphy thing really works, it's fun to take your own picture :P

hari minggu, pagi2 kita dijemput sama orang2 spafa, mereka responsible banget deh, mencoba untuk menenangkan kita dan bawa kita keluar dari bangkok (knapa nggak skalian ngajak kita ke kamboja terus cari pesawat dari situ aja ya.. :P) well anyway, i get to meet p'paew again, and asked her about my flight, pokoknya p'paew itu tiap kali liat gue mukanya langsung berubah jadi kasian gitu bo... memandang gue seperti anak yang malang :P
i told her "i really have to be home by the 3rd, i don't care which way i have to take." trus dia bilang dan gue inget banget, dan itu membuat gue terharu dan merasa emang gue was taken care of "we tried to find many ways for you, even we consider to book you a flight in cambodia, but we're afraid it is not convinience and safe for you." (her exact words) dan disitu gue tersentuh, she really cares!!! trus gue bilang sama dia "i don't really care about convinience now, i just have to go home."
trus jadilah kita pergi ke 100-year-old market, outside of bangkok, like 1 1/2 hour drive. i know it sounds like i'm enjoying the trip, nggak bo... gue jalan karena it's a way for me to be near p'paew, jadi gue nggak usah telpon2... my phone bills was another thing... sutralah nggak usah diomongin... :D
sepanjang perjalanan, gue masih mikir, gimana caranya gue pulang... gue harus pulang... dan gue frantic banget, telpon sana sini untuk tanya soal upacara di PU itu.... which i had done since thursday sih, gue udah bilang sama PU kalo gue trapped in the chaos, dan kemungkinan nggak bisa ikut upacara, pihak PU-nya bilang "ya dicoba aja dulu mbak, kalo masih nggak bisa, nanti kasih tau lagi" nggak nolong banyak sih, yang penting mereka tau situasi gue.
sesampenya di 100-year-old-market, p'paew deketin gue dan bilang "ayu, we have a ticket for you to go to by train to butterworth." trus gue tanya butterworth dimana tuh, trus dia jawab "in malaysia, you can go by bus to KL there and have your flight from KL to jakarta. they said it's not a long trip, so you can go by tomorrow." omigod there IS God!!!! gue langsung telpon emak gue, which @ first she spent like 3 minutes saying "i told you so" and another 3 minutes telling me why can't i just go immediately. i told her, half yelling half desperate, half whining, half wanting affection "mommy i called you for comfort, it's not like i'm having a vacation here, all tickets are full booked. that is the fastest ticket that i could find. please mom, i called you for comfort, i'm having a panic attack here." and i was tearing up in the middle of the market.. which was quite embarassing and i put on my shades quickly to cover my tears. yeah well, she went soft, and she just tell me to go home quickly and more importantly safely, which was comforting, and i had never missed her as much as i did that day.
perjalanan pulang dari 100-year-old market gue sms hazi, temen gue di singapore, and a travel junkie, untuk nanya gimana caranya dari butterworth ke KL, dia bilang naek bus yang super cepet itu bisa 5 jam doang, lega gue, tinggal bilang p'paew to book my flight from KL to jakarta for the latest flight of the day, gue buka peta gue, yang tadinya nggak pernah gue buka karena gue kesel banget ternyata peta bangkoknya kurang detail (please deh yu, 1:20000, lo kan anak geo, harusnya tau gimana detailnya peta itu... ya... maap yaks, lo pada kan tau ip gue berapa di geo) anyway, pas gue buka peta gue, keliatan lah butterworth itu, ternyata kota di malaysia deket sama pulau pinang. jadi just to be safe, i decided to also book a flight from pinang to KL.
i was smiling.. i am relieved, my flights are booked, i should be home @ 10pm on december 2nd.

it's december 1st, the day i should be home by plane @ 8 o'clock in the evening, but then, because of the protesters, i can't go home by plane, i have to take the train to butterworth, and took a cab from butterworth to the airport in pulau pinang, and then took a flight from pinang to KL and then finally took a flight home from KL to jakarta. good it's all settled. i checked out of the hotel, and hang out at spafa and ate a great lunch, which i found out that Kang, my friend from spafa yang bareng di workshop kemaren makannya banyak bet.. LOL. trus, p'paew juga bilang sama gue kalo sebenernya hari ini tuh keretanya udah full book, tapi karena dia punya koneksi di stasiun kereta, jadi lah gue dapet tiketnya. see again there is God. ya udah, jam 2 gue cabut dari spafa, karena kereta gue dateng jam 3... i am going home!!! with p'prapai as my driver, amazing guy he is, i had some conversation with him in broken english, and off to the train station.
udah nyampe neeh, koper gue udah settled neeh, a little side story, gue taro tas gue yang berisi wilbur dan babe (for those of you who do not know, wilbur is the love of my life, and babe is my favorite lens from my everlasting friend :)) diatas koper gue... tanpa dinyana2... (apa seeh) gubrak, koper gue jatoh bo.... dan jatohlah tas gue itu. for those of you who know me, you know that i don't like a camera bag, because it's puffy and huge, and really a haste to carry around. jadilah wilbur dan babe itu ada di dalem tas gue unprotected. i thought to myself it's alright lah, biasanya juga nggak papa... boy i was wrong :( turns out pas gue buka di kereta ya bo, babe's filter was shattered... i was panicked at first, tapi setelah gue inget itu cuma filter, gue langsung merasa tolol dan terus langsung gue bersihin. well anyaway, where was i, oh yeah, the train station. i was @ the train station, and p'prapai was telling me to wait for him, he's going to park his car. so i was standing there, waiting for him, where suddenly i hear an announcement saying something butterworth and something hat yai. lagak2nya sih, itu buat gue... dan bau2nya kayak pengumuman di stasiun yang "untuk rangkaian kereta api tujuan depok-ps minggu-manggarai-kota saat ini rangkaian masih dalam perjalanan menuju stasiun bogor melintas stasiun tanjung barat..." yang artinya kalo untuk gue pada saat itu adalah nggak kuliah!!!! :P well anyway, gue nggak ngerti, dan p'prapai masih parkir mobilnya, tapi gue liat dia jalan, dan sambil ngedengerin, dan raut mukanya udah lucu.... halah apa lagi ini...
trus pas dia sampe gue mau buka mulut nanya sama dia, dia ngasih signal 'nanti dulu' trus dia dengerin announcement-nya dengan seksama, dengan reaksi yang sangat bukan yang gue inginkan "oh no!!! *insert some thai curse word here*" trus pas pengumumannya kelar dia bilang sama gue "there's flood in hat yai, train cannot go to butterworth." WTF... but at this point all i can do is just laugh @ the situation. my f'n luck... and this trip is getting more and more interesting now. the trip itself was an adventure, but this???!!! gosh this is hilarious, i bet the man upstairs is patting himself on the back for the joke he played on me :P. p'prapai called the office to have p'paew explained it to me in plain english about the situation. tapi biar gimana gue harus pulang, gue bilang sama p'paew, don't worry i'll find a way, i just have to get home. gue liat peta ajaib gue lagi, dan tanya sama p'prapai jam berapa gue sampe hat yai, trus dia bilang nggak tau, yeeeeeeeeeee bocah, kadang pinter kadang agak2... :P gue bilang tolong tanyain kali nggak kapan gue nyampe secara gue nggak bisa nanya sendiri. sekalian tanyain dari hat yai ke butterworth berapa lama kalo naek umum, tapi just to be sure, i called my mom who told me to call bu rosidah in KL. so i did, i called her and ask how long would it take from hat yai to butterworth... or even better to penang. to my comfort she said @ the most 7 hours. trus p'prapai bilang sama gue kalo keretanya itu bakal sampe hat yai sekitar jam 1/2 7 besok pagi. thank god almighty it still works. see my flight from penang is @ 5 pm, so, if would arrive @ 6.30 am and the trip is 7 hours, it shoud give me enough time to go from hat yai to penang. i'm smiling again, now all i have to worry is to find a transportation from hat yai to penang... which from what i know from bu rosidah, i could take a minibus, and they even have the bus too there. i texted my mom again, and told her if all goes well i will be home by 10 pm on december 2nd.
p'prapai was really great, he told me to take care and be positive, maybe by tomorrow the banjirnya udah surut jadi bisa sampe butterworth, good man, he really is, and i thanked him as he brought my luggage to the train, and off to hat yai i go (still hoping to go to butterworth though).
the train ride was another thing, keretanya tuh sepintas kayak senja utama, ato mutiara fajar, ato apalah itu yang biasa kita naekin dari jakarta ke jogja ato ke sby ato kemana lah di jawa. gue udah siap mental untuk tidur dengan tidak nyaman, meringkel2 gimana, dan satu tempat duduk ber2....
ternyata, nggak cuma satu tempat duduk sendiri, itu tempat duduk, bisa menjadi tempat tidur yang sangat nyaman, lebih nyaman dari kasur tiup di kontrakan hehehehehehe... jadi, di setiap tempat duduk hadap2an, ada kayak overhead compartment gitu yang tadinya gue sangka dulu tempat koper kali ya... ternyata itu tempat tidur!!! jadi yang bangkunya ganjil dapet diatas, yang bangkunya genap dapet dibawah. bangku gue genap, jadi gue dapet dibawah, which is bigger bed, and a view!!! (soalnya kan jendelanya dibawah). nggak cuma itu, keretanya juga bersih, kamar mandinya cukup bersih buat wudhu dan segala macemnya itu, airnya melimpah, dan seprei dan selimutnya juga baru dan bersih. gosh it's more that i really hope for. gue tidur dengan sukses, dan pas gue bangun, i have to remind myself that i was on a train, not my room, that's how comfortable it is.
on the train ride, i met up with benjamin and chris, a couple from singapore. chris spoke thai, god bless her soul. so they sort of adopted me and arrange my van from hat yai to penang.
well, as you know, the train stopped @ hat yai, ternyata banjirnya emang parah bo... kayak jakarta 2006 kemaren... asli. no wonder lah. jadi pas sampe hat yai, kita langsung deh tuh, berburu tiket. gue akhirnya dapet tiket ke penang, thanks to chris, gue brangkat dari hat yai jam 9.30 dan mereka janji sama gue sampe ke penang jam 1.00. phew, good, my plane leaves @ 5, which gives me plenty of time. ya, telat2nya paling gue nyampe jam 2 lah bo... jadi ya... i should be good.
berangkatlah gue dari hat yai ke penang, and said my goodbye to benjamin and chris, and picked up a new friend wei along the way (no pun intended). wei is quite a travel junkie too, like most singaporeans. she's really nice because she speaks a little thai i guess (logat perbatasan tapinya) sama mandarin juga, but not too much melayu though. :D by this time i really missed speaking bahasa LOL. jadi ya... gue di van itu dengan harapan sampai ke penang paling telat jam 2 siang. Jam 11:00 gue diperbatasan thai malaysia, imigrasinya lama bo, gue nggak tau ya, orang2 imigrasi thailand ini pada punya tv ato nggak, mereka selalu mempertanyakan visa orang2 luar ASEAN jaaaaaaaaaaahhh bo... lo ga liat apa aiport tutup jadi mereka harus nyari cara untuk keluar. this time, i'm glad i have indonesian passport, jadi nggak repot. so i spent about 1 hour in the imigration. sesuatu yang gue lupa.... malaysia sama thailand beda 1 jam... sampenya gue di malaysia... berarti bukan jam 12, melainkan jam 1... jam satu dong ya.... tessi mulai panik lagi.
supirnya mau makan dulu... manusiawi, granted, kita makan 1/2 jam trus jalan lagi hampir jam 1/2 2 kita jalan. amazingnya, katanya ya, kita nggak bisa ke butterworth soalnya banjir.... bo the sun was shining bright that day... banjirnya dimana gue nggak ngerti...again i think the man upstairs is having a few laughs at me right now... it's okay i deserve it :) yeah well jam berapa tadi.. jam 1/2 2... tessi ngantuk, jadi tidur :)
jam 3 kurang 1/4 gue bangun, gue liat "welcome to penang" aaaaaaaaahhh.... we're here i thought. bentar lagi, mencoba menenangkan diri. trus gue nengok ke wei, dan nanya "masih lama ya?" trus dia cuma nyengir, ga tau, trus nanya ke raymond (a malaysian group we travel with) dia bilang ya skitar 1 jam-an lah. Anjrit, tessi panik setengah mampus, berarti gue sampe penang jam 4, pesawat gue jam 5!!!!! mampus gue... mampus gue... mampus gue!!!!! frantic, i called the airlines, dan nanya setelah ini ada pesawat jam berapa ke KL trus ada tempat duduk nggak, pesawat abis ini jam 6:40, tapi it's full booked!!!! panik, gue telpon travel agent yang dijakarta, sama sih nihil juga... omigod, so i REALLY have to get in the plane or else, i would miss my KL flight, means i have to stay the night in the airport, meaning, i can't make it by 7 o'clock tomorrow. i was really panicking. i called my dad in frantic and cried, all my old man told me is to stay calm, keep praying everything will be okay. i told the driver to be fast because i have to catch a flight. 3:30 we were crossing the bridge from butterworth to georgetown (pulau pinang)... there has to be a traffic, sumprit ini sutradara dan script writternya keren mampus dibikin deg2an sampe abis. jadi jembatannya lagi dalam perbaikan, yeah there's a little traffic jam, nggak stuck sepenuhnya sih, tapi ya.... cukup bikin ketar-ketir. but @ last i got into the sungai....halah kok lupa namanya, nibon, apalah itu, @ 3:50!!!!!! i got a cab immediately which i told him i have to go really fast, i have a flight @ 5 o'clock, so i have to be the airport by 4. he said not to worry, he could get me there before 4 (the airport was quite close you know). ya udah, masukin luggage, and off i go to the airport. yep, he got me there before 4 alright, 3:58!!!! there is God!!! gue lari ke ticket counter, got my ticket printed out, dan untungnya penerbangan domestik ya bo, jadi nggak gitu ketat banget, dan gue masih bisa cek in!!!!! omigod, something good happened to me today, finally!!! i was on the right track :)
i got to KLIA @ 18:00 as scheduled, and took a cab to the LCC airport and waited for the plane home, which was delayed for like 30 minutes, but from everything i've experienced today, 30 minutes delay was nothing.
i landed safely and hapily (never be so thankful to be home) in cengkareng @ 10:30ish, and i got my lugage and get out of the airport @ 11, gave my mommy a big hug and a kiss, never been so happy to see her.
and finally landed on my bed @ 1:30, there was a traffic jam soalnya kan lagi bikin jalan baru tuh di kamal kalo nggak salah, trus belon lagi supir mayasari bakti yang mabok and started to just hit everyone... serem bet bo... sumprit. but here i am, on my comfortable bed, spending the last two hours typing this 2-page or even longer novel on my epic adventure :P

but it is though, kind of a great closure before my great commitment (working with the government i mean) and you know what??? i can't wait to do it again!!!! right buriQ???!!!

the lesson i learn from this:
never underestimate a political unrest, especially when somchai is the PM LOL
people are nice, people are good, unplug your earphone and talked to them once in a while they could help!!
people still ask me question what race i belong to... *sigh* like i said i am my mother's daughter :)
always have a plan b, c, and d, search the internet, keep updated have a map... it really helps!!!! (aduh anak geo... :P)
God is everywhere, and trust me, when you ask for something nicely, he would give it to you, i have faith in that now

and i would like to thank the following people, and i've been thanking God all throughout this essay, so He knows he was first :)
p'paew!!!! my savior really, spafa has been nothing but great for us who was stranded so great big hug and a giant wet kiss
all the spafa staffs, p'prapai, kang, jay, pui, p'noi, and all of them i can't recall their names, omigod, they made me feel safe
siti hazirah binti mohammad :P for giving me tips and keep checking up on me... thank you hazz!!!!
mommy... for being so kind @ the end
bapak... for keep checking up on me
buriQ yang mau jadi tempat sampah gue :)
all my friends who's been checking up on me.. i love you all... big hug and giant wet kiss!!! :P
my everlasting friend..... who will be there in the time of need always... words cannot express how glad i am to have you :)

thank you for reading this... panjang banget emang, tapi ya... maybe you can learn something from this :) like the backpacking route to go to thailand hehehehehehe

love you all!!!!!

big hug!!!!!
-me-

Friday, December 4, 2009

back to neverland

i never thought that i could come back here again this year. but i did, and gosh it was unexpected. i’ve missed it so much since i left last year. i never thought i would come back so soon, but i did. retracing steps in neverland is just what i had planned. after all, it was my home for a week last year, and it always be my 3rd home (1st is indonesia, 2nd is columbus, and 3rd is neverland ).

on the plane ride there, i was like a kid in the candy store, i have ten thousand plans of what i would do once i step my foot in this adopted home. i was ecstatic, i just can’t wait until the plane touches down, and first destination would be khao san road… for the obvious reason, i just have to go to khao san.

well fate had it written differently. i just have to blurted out “tiger show” in front of our tour guide. and acting as an excellent guide, she offered us to go to the show for 600 baht. considering, i’ve been here quite a number of times and haven’t been to any show yet, i said what the hell, khao san can wait. i am here for two nights, i’ll just go there the next night.

so i went to the tiger show. it was quite an experience alright. it’s the side of neverland i’ve never see. it’s really interesting, and yes, whoa!!! i wouldn’t get into details what happened there, because you have to experience it first hand, but if you want to see adult fun, and have a laugh and cringe :p that show is the one to see. seriously J

on the second day, i can’t wait until the tour is over. well, actually, i liked the tour, because i got to see siam niramit for the 2nd time. i’ve been longing to watch it again since the first time i saw it. and maybe the next time, i could watch it with someone that meant the world to me, it could be horsey, hades, or apollo, or maybe another god or creatures that is created for me. but really, hands down still the greatest show ever!!!!

soon after siam niramit, i separated myself from the group and off to khao san i go :)

it is still what it is. my khao san, my home for a week last year. i walked around with this stupid grin on my face. the crowd, the vendors, the food (and i ate sticky rice and mango thank you very much :p)

the next day, the really creative tour guide offered us another round of shopping.  me myself had enough of shopping.  what i really wanted is just enjoy the city that i love so much.  so i decided to broke out from the tour and take the city on myself.  as it turns out, caesar, heru, mega and febry are in the same page with me.  they really want to try out the public transportation and stuff.  so, gladly i showed them the other side of neverland, and i am glad they liked it :)

so all in all my return to neverland is always magical, i love it, and note this, i'll be there again next year, that's a sure thing :)

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

ojek peluk among others....

ojek...(rented motorbike) does not only exist in indonesia... in vietnam they have ojek too. the name is seng om (please bear with me on this, i'm not good memorizing things lately) roughly translated huggable rides. cute huh???!!

my very first full day in vietnam, and it's full of colorful stuff. gosh, i mean, aside for the fact that i got my vietnam trip AFTER i swore off alcohol and all that crap, it was one interesting day.

today i got the chance to hear a very interesting lecture on swindon; a small...or used to be small town in england, that in certain extent was transformed into one of the major city in england. i got the chance to dance like i don't give a crap. i got to eat on the saigon river cruise. and for the first time, in a VERY long time, i have more than 400 frames in a day!!!!

i also took lots of bokeh snaps today. gosh, for once, i had fun taking pictures again.

and tonight, an interesting story about a girl with the name of jessica that caught my friend's eyes, and he could not forget her, but didn't have the guts to go after her *stupid* :p

also today, i found out that arief is a really cool guy (well i found that out long before, but i didn't think he was THAT cool) :)

from this trip, i got a lot so far, most are about friendships and things i've been missing lately...

btw, i had the most vivid view of his face last night, what the hell does that mean, i have no idea.

can't wait 'till tomorrow, out around the city and leaving for bangkok in the afternoon...


Sunday, November 29, 2009

leaving

it's pouring rain here in the city, and here i am, sitting in the overpriced coffee shop leaving for yet another city. i only spent 1 week in my room on the month of november, neat huh? again, today, i told my mom, i've never thought that this going to be my life. sitting in the airport, with my laptop typing blog in an overpriced coffee shop (i love so much, i never knew quite what it's like... *snickers*)

it's weird right? the way life turns out to be... when i was a kid, i always wondered what i would be like when i grow up. i want to travel in time, go back to my high school years, when i don't have very much confidence, and say to the teenage me, "hey kid, be patience, you won't be so bad... still suck @ love, but hey you'll be okay, you'll turn out alright, a lot of people will love you and care for you, and you wouldn't be so lonely."

which made me wonder, if you can go back in time, and visit the high school you, what would you say to them. for me... except what i just said above, i'd also say that phil mallinger's not really THAT godly :P. and the cheers captain, will turn out fat :)

okay the last one was mean. the thing is, what you thought was SO important in high school, turns out to be nothing right now. and yes, it's true, what goes around comes around, so if you're in high school right now, being kicked around by a bully, remember, one day, you'll have your laugh, and that bully, might just ended up working for you :) *nice huh*

like i always say, endure whatever bumps in the road God gives you right now, and come back with higher limits :) because trust me, God never gives you what you can't endure, because God knew you better than you know yourself. after all, He's the one who created you, with the help of mom and dad of course :p

i think i have to board the plane now... i'll see you later, along with new project i came up with *excited*

love you all, stay positive, stay beautiful!!!!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

conversation with mommy

one idle dinner, my mom and i were just talking about life in general. it's really a rare occasion where me and mommy would sit down in a dinner table and have dinner together. so i updated her about my life, and whatever going on around me. i told her about hades, horsey, and some others that might come along, and she suddenly said, "when are you going to settle, what are you waiting for? you're not getting younger."

i didn't reply her question, because i didn't think there is a need to. but if i had to answer her question, this is what i'd say.

what i'm waiting for mommy...

i'm waiting for a guy who would sweep me off my feet
makes my heart beats 3 beats faster every minutes
keeps me on the edge of my seat everyday, just want to see the next adventure he brought along
i'm waiting for a guy that could answered my questions
that could make me satisfied
with each explanation that comes along
i'm waiting for a guy who can take my breath away
who could sit me down, and tell me enough
who could make me smile just to look @ him
so i'm waiting mommy
i'm waiting for that guy
the guy who doesn't bore me
the guy who keeps me guessing what's next
who i can honor, respect and love for the rest of my life

i know it might sound pathetic, and it might even sound naive. but that's what i'm waiting for... my love utopia

Thursday, November 19, 2009

him...

for two weeks, i've been watching him
i watched him as his head nodded off, as he got bored
i watched him, shifting his ass left and right finding the comfortable place
i watched him paid attention if something intrigued him
i watched him as he took out his camera snapping out images of the class

i watched him quietly
as wilbur would snap away the bits of him that i adore
i watched him intently
as i know i won't get him for life
he has someone waiting for him
i watched him hoping
that he would once, turn around and see my stupid face
adoring him

he's something i cannot reach
but for now, i'm glad we are where we are
so for now
i'm just admiring him from afar
quietly...
the best way i know for now...

Sunday, November 15, 2009

2 weeks, 37 strangers, aw aw aw aw.... :)

prajab... aka prajabatan... ato menurut @mslely (follow her on tweets she's a breath of fresh air too) prawan jarang boker....
first and foremost... yes, i'm a civil servant. if you follow me on tweets, you know i have two lives, one's as an announcer which i love dearly, and the other is one boring old-fashion life, my 9-5, as a civil servant, pns, or as jujuk margono puts it... pernah ngewi siy.... *sigh* my other life :). so yes boys and girl, i have the geekiest, boring and old-fashioned job in indonesia. but hey, it pays for my fun.

anyway... prajab, roughly translated in english is preservice training, is these hell two week, where we are forced to do nothing but listening to boring old people talking about crap we already knew. but it is a requirement for me in order to get promoted to a full time government worker.

well anyway, this preservice training also requires me to live in a dorm for two weeks, sharing room with strangers (mind you this is a big issue for me, i like my own space), and all the strict rules that tagged along with it (i'm not good with rules, you know that by know i guess :p)

i was truly, really reluctant to go to this thing, especially after looking @ the schedules, and the classes for two weeks. omigod, classes monday to saturday, roughly 8 hours a day, sitting in a room, full of strangers, listening to lecturers, yes... it will be long dull weeks ahead... @ least that's what i thought @ the 1st place.

so, i drove in to the dorm, on that tuesday morning. to find out on the way, that the infamous rezza munawir (he's another story really) is joining my batch (he was supposed to be on the next batch, but he switched place) well, i felt indifferent at first, but hey, turns out, he's more than i expected... :) and in that morning i found out couple other friends are in the same batch with me too.

ow, well, checking in, i found out not only i have to share a room with one stranger... it turns out i have to share one with two... please don't judge me, it's just me and my issues, nothing really wrong with them though, with all sincerity, they're okay roommates :) well they can put up with my weird antics... so i gotta to give them a credit :)

off to the class, for the first day, no one really showed off their real skin yet. and in that day, we had a 12-hour day in class, so i haven't had the chance to get to know them yet. one thing that stood out from that day though, "my name is joe, i work in a button factory, are you busy goe, yes! i have 4 children"

the 2nd night, that's another story. and that's when things gets real :) we were done by 5 pm, and you put 37 20-30 something people together, things tends to get interesting. that night i learned, the next two weeks, will not be as bad as i imagined it will be. that night i learned, we have a dancer in our batch, tons of party goers, and half decent singers :p

after that second night, all goes well, we got to know each other better. in two weeks, i made tons of new friends, gained new perspectives, and learned adobe premiere :p

back to spiritual me... :p i believe god always put me in the right place. my work, my life, and everything. and i believe for prajab, god put me in a perfect batch, perfect for me :) and it was angkatan 6.

for that i have 37 people to thank for the amazing two weeks we had, i am sure my life will be less colorful if i never knew them. so i'd like to thank:

first and foremost, awan nothing... or something :) i believe if you try harder, you'd be a great man, there's something in you, that attracts people, you're a good man, you'll make it big, if you try :)

desy... my goodness, it's been a blast!!! i'm glad i'm in the same batch with you, it's been fun, and i know now, i can always call you up in bandung :)

ika... i have no idea you're a great dancer, let's set a date, me you and the girls, let's karaoke!!!

reni, before i thought you're this old-fashioned person, but hey, you're just a really honest person :p love you lots hope we keep in touch

febri... helped my sorry ass again and again... i don't know how to thank you, but you're the most reliable guy to depend on... design-wise of course :p

dhika... didn't know you before, but it's been a pleasure!!! keep it up kid, you'll be big :)

ifan... you're like a kid brother, i know you'll set a path, your own path, and i know you'll be good at it... my suggestion take the functional road... you're good at it :)

fakhry... find a good position, but try not to fall asleep when you're @ it :) nice to know you, keep in touch ya pak ustadz

nadya & niar... thanks for putting up with me as your roommate

ratih... you're a cool girl you know, honestly i never thought we would click, but hey we did and i'm glad :)

novita... i really glad to get to know you!!! we were in the same group before, but we didn't talk much, but i'm glad i did, and i hope we can hang out @ times

andrio... i'm sorry i outed you :p hahahahaha but hey, tinky winky, dipsy, lala, po!!!! my world is really colorful when you're around

mas jokooooo.... idola masa kini :p

fabian... it's really nice spending two weeks with you :)

artan... it's been a pleasure, let's do a hunting party again sometime :)

tri... keep those geology discussion coming, i enjoyed those!!!

munawir... you're not that bad dude, i know you'll be a successful person someday, and yes, i think your dad will be proud :)

and every single one of you, you know who you are, thanks for this two weeks....

angkatan enaaaaammmmm!!!! "guys semangaaaat!!!!"

Monday, October 26, 2009

being fragile

i live here on my knees as i try to make you see that you're everything i think i need here on the ground....

my favorite line of the week.  it's taken from sara bareilles "gravity".  that chick sure has a hard name, but a beautiful song.
maybe it sounded weak, sounded like something a "cewek jelek" would say.  but the wording, the way she pictured it, it sounded strong to me.  well maybe because i'm in cewek jelek world right now, but nevertheless, it's a beautiful lyric.

being fragile sucks.  and being weak is degrading.  but sometimes we have to accept that @ times, we're not as strong as we'd like to be.  accepting it, means you are a bigger person that you were before.

but the bigger person doesn't really stop @ merely accepting it.  once you accepted it, you have to act on it.  and a bigger person, would choose to just stop for a second, identify what was lacking, and work on it, so they have a higher limit.  the lesser person, just accept it, and continue with their life accepting they have limit.

which one would you choose... being a bigger person, or the lesser person?

today, i accept i am fragile, i accept that i am weak, and i'm average.  but i refuse to just stop at that.  today i might loose, i'm resting now, tending my wound, but i'll be back, with a higher limit... :) (and it sounds nicer than vengeance don't you think ;) )

i'm through accepting limits, 'cause someone said there's so

Friday, October 9, 2009

just a quote

i'd like to share this quote i read in gregory maguire's book "wicked".  it's so moving, yet it's just a simple thing that we missed out and never been taught for....

"to the grim poor there need be no pour quoi tale where evil arises; it just arises; it always is. one never learns how the witch became wicked, or whether that was the right choice for her - is it ever the right choice? does the devil ever struggle to be good again, or if so is he not a devil? it is the very least a question of definitions"

cool huh... :)

dealing with sorrow

i've been avoiding this feeling, and letting myself become numb.  believe it or not, i haven't cried once for padang like i did for aceh.  and, i'm really sorry for saying this, i have no emotion towards the situation...at all.
and then i realized, why i'm stuck all this time, all these writer blocks, emotionless pictures.  it explains it.  i didn't grief.  i buried it, and hoping never to have to deal with it.  the thing is, you have to face grief head on.  you have to break down and cry, and call whoever it is a jackass, or a prick.  you have to let it out and tell them what you are feeling, even when they're not listening.  but you have to let it out.  i was still a 'person' before, because i've dealt with my grief, the best way i knew how, mind you.  but hey, that's the only way i know how.  and it worked for my feelings.  i didn't say i was proud of what i did, because it was stupid.

i don't know if i done enough to deal with it yet.  well, i managed to scribble down my thoughts this morning, i hope you enjoy it :)

you're always be the one
your picture is sitll on my phone
i look it up whenever i'm weary
a simple reminder how i used to be happy

i was never yours
not completely anyway
my picture was never in your wallet
but my heart belong to you, and you only

now i'm standing here
not wanting to move
waiting for you
to comeback, and retrieve the heart that's left for you

few came by, and ask me to come along
they tried to move me
from the spot that you left me

but as you can see
i can't move
i won't move
because i have to be here
when you decided to take back this heart

-091009-

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

another airport morning

today, i've discovered another greatest invention by mankind, the self check in!!!!
oh hell yes, it's wonderful if you don't have a baggage (emotional doesn't count :p) all you have to do is just walk in to one of the computer, put in your booking code and your ticket number, and, wait for it, it's the best part... choose your own seat!!! yes ladies and gents you get to choose your own seat!!! and then you're good to go.  easy, no hassle, no lines!!! :) cool huh?? :)

and in the midst of the confusion (i woke up late today mind you) and the exhaustion, i thanked god for this life with all its complication, it's still a wonderful one.

and last night, i've closed the chapter completely.  i hope i did, and i hope it's done.  i just don't want to deal with it anymore.

i fell asleep, and i forgot the rest of the crap that i was about to write here :p

Friday, October 2, 2009

healing with imogen

i've been listening to imogen heap's latest album 'ellipse' over and over and over again.  it's one beautiful album.  loving most of the song (still can't relate with 'little bird' for some weird reason).  today's highlight is 'half life'

listening to that felt as if she smacked me upside the head.  the words gets me, and for the first time in a long time, i wanted to write about this song.  it says everything about my last relationship. 

right at the beginning of the song, when she said "i knew that i'd get like this again, that's why i try to keep it at bay" dammit that's exactly how i was at the beginning.  i know when i fall, i'd fall.  i try to keep thing just 'casual' or in a vamp word 'sex only, no emotional attachment'.  i can't toy with my heart.

and then, she also said "the stickler is you've played not one beat wrong, you never promised me anything" it's true.  he never did.  and i try not to.  i was trying to be the perfect 'other women', not demanding, and try to be anything she (his girlfriend) was not.  but i forgot, he never told me that he'll leave her for me.  i just assume that he would.  with his perfect words that he whisper to me.  *maap saat itu saya jadi cewek jelek, well, i was cewek cantik yang jatuh cinta, tetep ngeles*  so comes the next punch line "my self worth measured in text back tempo, it's been 2 days and 8 minutes to slow, well there might be others, but i still like to pretend, that i'm the one you really want to grow old with"

dammit imogen can't you just serve me with a jar of snake venom please, so i can get this over with.

well all ini all, this song is healing, the cd is highly recommended (for anyone who has a high taste in music :p)

last line for you guys...

you know you'll never be lonely, no, you'll always be loved, and maybe, you never need more than that, but for the surplus that loves, what's to become of us?
does it even register on your conscience?

long for one last show down, from a box in a crowd, air compressed tight to explode, i'm clenching my ticket to the only way out, as you disappear in a puff of smoke.


it's a half life.... with you as my quarter back... it's a daft life

*sigh... i'll keep the last line to myself as i say my silent wish*

Sunday, September 27, 2009

picture perfect

what is perfect
no one really have  a clear definition for it

i thought phil mallinger was perfect.  oh god, was he beautiful! but time changes i grew up (took a long time) but he might be perfect, but he's not perfect for me.

and then i thought my first boyfriend was perfect.  we were match made in heaven, or that's what i thought.  for years i try to convince myself he is my match.  for he is one beautiful being. he is, i love him.  until now i care about him, and i always will have this guilty feeling for him, for leaving him.  i was never faithful with him, maybe that's why i have to leave.  well i hope he's happy now, and find his perfection.

i thought i found my perfection with the second boyfriend.  ow well, i was dumb, i can't really find a perfection based on that.  it was infatuation.  but i thought it was perfect, but not anymore.

and then, i have my parent's dream job.  all of the sudden i am my mother's perfection.  i live in her dream, but not mine.  yet it's a perfection after all. 

and then he completed it.  my perfect state.  for that long, when he was by my side, i feel like everything is going my way.  it's not perfect, but i felt perfect.

but now, i don't know.  i could barely finish my entry now.

ow well, i gotta go now.

but before i go, i have to say, that i miss him terribly, and i'm coping, barely making it, but i'm coping.