Dear No one,
Before anything, I am going to let you know, that this will be the last time I am regarding you in any way. Because after this, I want you to move on, and if you love me, like you claim you do, then you will respect my wish.
I know you’re looking for answers in why I can’t let you in my life now. I know you feel that what I did is cold and unfair. But this is how it should be. I just can’t be like I was before, when I was with you.
Yes, I loved you, my God did I loved you. I did everything to save whatever we had before. The truth is, we started in shaky ground, and a completely wrong ground also. I started us with a lie, one that I’m not proud of. Nevertheless I was totally in love with us, the nature of our relationship at that moment. I was ridiculously infatuated by our happy ending, one that will defy all odds, so I fought for it. The thing was, I didn’t know when to stop. I kept fighting and fighting for it. I’ve used up all my energy, love and devotion, on just fighting for an idea. An idea I have in my head, of us being happy. In the process of the fighting, I have lost me.
Needless to say, I lost the fight. So I knew my place, and I knew my strength. I gave up. I gave up the idea of us, I gave up every dream I have of us, and I gave up that person who used to be with you. It was really hard to let go, and the process, was not quick. But I went through it. I have moved on.
Now you see, I have thrown away everything that has us in it. Letting that go, was one of the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But strangely, once I let that go, I was completely at peace. I can face myself in the mirror again and see myself as me, not a total failure like the moment you left me. So I hope you do understand, it took all my willpower to let go of that, so it’s not that I can’t go back to that place again, I don’t want to go back to that place.
You’ve asked me, why can’t I put you in my life, why can’t we be friends, just friends. The answer is, we just can’t. I can’t be your friend, nor that I want to. And I am sure, you cannot be ‘just a friend”.
Another reason that I don’t want you in my life is that, I am fine and a much better person without you in it. So I really would like to keep my life that way, without you. I know it seems cold and selfish. But I rather be cold and selfish than be a hypocrite. This is not about revenge, or about me punishing you for walking out on me. I have forgiven you for that, and I understand your actions at that time. But when you came back, you can’t expect everything will be the same, and I will be greeting you with open arms, things changed, I’ve changed.
Like I said, I have let you go, and I can’t let you came back in, for the simple fact that, I just can’t.
I do thank you for everything you have given me. All the things that you did to me, good and bad, made me the strong woman that I am today.
So, again, if you love me, like you claim you do, please leave me be. Do not text me, do not try to locate me, or try to see what I am up to. And if you love me, like you claim to be, please respect my wishes. I wish for now on we will be stranger, like we never knew each other. Should our path crosses someday, I hope you will turn away, as I will do the same. Because after this, let me assure you, I will not regard you in any way.
I hope you have a good life.
All the best,
me
No comments:
Post a Comment