feb 3/looking back now

as usual, i have the chance to be alone @ least 5 hours in a day... i have a lot of time to think :D

and today in my alone time, i stopped and think what did i want to be when i was young. you know something, while other kids wants to be doctor, or pilots, or ambassador of some sort... or even a banker, me i wanted to be a writer. i really did, not making it up.

i would say with a confidence... when people asked me what i wanted to be when i grow up. i'd say i want to be a writer. my dad is partly to blame for that maybe :p a poet himself, a stage actor, and all around an art-lover, without realizing it, he'd passed that down to me. he didn't exactly told be to become a writer. he would just share things with me... his books, and poems and stuff. i remembered reading taufik ismail's words for the first time, and just simply fell in love with "tirani dan benteng" the collection of poem from taufik ismail. gosh i loved it... it has this one poem about a rambutan vendor telling his wife what he had seen throughout the day. i was probably that small number of 5th grader who had read 'tirani and benteng' cover to cover @ that time.

and i remember when we have to memorize the whole poem by chairil anwar, i enjoyed it so much, the poem still stuck in my head until this day. so... i was not a regular kid in the sense of my dreams :) and here's the strange part, i didn't want it for the fortune and fame of john grisham or dan brown or agatha christie... i wanted it simply just because...

i smiled when i remembered that... i knew who i was and still am since i was a kid. i am a writer, and i hope it'll stay that way. true i haven't had a book out or anything, but i'm still writing my thoughts down *though not everyday as i promised you i would* but i still do... and in my spare time, i'll try to scribble my thoughts. true i haven't write a single poem since the one i wrote for mcmarried, i'm waiting for that time again actually. the time when i just want to grab a pencil and paper and write my thoughts

i am a writer, and it'll stay that way... no matter what my ID card wrote down there, i am a writer