healing with imogen

i've been listening to imogen heap's latest album 'ellipse' over and over and over again.  it's one beautiful album.  loving most of the song (still can't relate with 'little bird' for some weird reason).  today's highlight is 'half life'

listening to that felt as if she smacked me upside the head.  the words gets me, and for the first time in a long time, i wanted to write about this song.  it says everything about my last relationship. 

right at the beginning of the song, when she said "i knew that i'd get like this again, that's why i try to keep it at bay" dammit that's exactly how i was at the beginning.  i know when i fall, i'd fall.  i try to keep thing just 'casual' or in a vamp word 'sex only, no emotional attachment'.  i can't toy with my heart.

and then, she also said "the stickler is you've played not one beat wrong, you never promised me anything" it's true.  he never did.  and i try not to.  i was trying to be the perfect 'other women', not demanding, and try to be anything she (his girlfriend) was not.  but i forgot, he never told me that he'll leave her for me.  i just assume that he would.  with his perfect words that he whisper to me.  *maap saat itu saya jadi cewek jelek, well, i was cewek cantik yang jatuh cinta, tetep ngeles*  so comes the next punch line "my self worth measured in text back tempo, it's been 2 days and 8 minutes to slow, well there might be others, but i still like to pretend, that i'm the one you really want to grow old with"

dammit imogen can't you just serve me with a jar of snake venom please, so i can get this over with.

well all ini all, this song is healing, the cd is highly recommended (for anyone who has a high taste in music :p)

last line for you guys...

you know you'll never be lonely, no, you'll always be loved, and maybe, you never need more than that, but for the surplus that loves, what's to become of us?
does it even register on your conscience?

long for one last show down, from a box in a crowd, air compressed tight to explode, i'm clenching my ticket to the only way out, as you disappear in a puff of smoke.

it's a half life.... with you as my quarter back... it's a daft life

*sigh... i'll keep the last line to myself as i say my silent wish*