it took me a while to write this down, but here it goes....
putting the laborious thesis aside i'm writing this down as the baby is sleeping nice and soundly (how's that for a change)
it was a wonderful journey, all 37 weeks and 3 days and it was really sweet at the end.
we found out we were expecting the day before christmas in 2012. It was, for me, both the happiest and scariest moment in my life. mostly happy though, to think that i'm going to a mom, something i've longed for a while. I always wanted someone to call me mommy, and it was exciting to see the road ahead.
i know what you hear, a lot of people are saying that when you're expecting it is the greatest time of a woman's life and all that jazz. it is, 50% of the time :) the other 50 is what i called the dark side of the moon that everyone don't usually speak of :))
don't get me wrong, i love every second of my pregnancy, feeling the baby kicked, and when i talk to him sometimes i got a reaction from him, it was ecstatic! but the down side of pregnancy, the nausea, the bloated body, back pain, the fact that you can't sleep on your back for months.
but it was all worth it. trust me when the time arrives, the pain will be worth it.
when prabas decided it was time for him to see the world, it was a weird feeling for me too. part of me was excited to see him finally, and part of me wanted to keep him close to me for longer time. but mostly i wanted to meet him.
i don't need to tell you about the pain. gosh i have never felt that kind of pain, and i have a high threshold for pain. the difference about this pain is that you can't react like you usually react to pain, which is pushing. you can't push unless you're fully dilated.
i had a long labor. from friday to sunday :)) but when he finally arrived, all the pain, everything has passed. when i see him presented in front of me by my obgyn, i hear him crying for the first time. it was nothing like i've ever feel before. i understood what it feels like to truly love someone at the first sight, and to be there for them no matter what. i know that i would die for him to be happy, and sacrifice everything for his happiness.
i guess i became that annoying parents after all, who always gushes about their kids and who thinks their kids are the most precious thing that walks on earth. but i guess every parents are like that :)
prabas changed me a lot!! i mean i don't sweat the little things anymore -like the finale of himym :p or when i found out my one that got away *coughdarrencrisscough* has a girlfriend already (there goes my backup plan) :p- i guess i could say he grew me up??? (i'm making up phrases now)
well, it took me a long time to write this up, and i bet it'll take me longer to write my *not gonna type the word* let's call it my second creation :) and there are adjustments that i have to make in my life right now. i don't do a lot of things i used to do anymore (like watching the box office RIGHT on the premiere, or shoe shopping). but the smiles that i get from him every time i walked in the room, or the way he always seek me out for protection is a constant reminder that i made the right choice, and i am right where i am supposed to be. i have a new purpose in life, to make sure that he grew up right, and make everyone that loves him proud.
