never thought i will say those words about me...
no wait, i'm lying, i always knew :)
people have been bothering me from left and right, above and beyond, to get a man. my replies these days, i just shrugged and tell them when he'll come, he'll come.
no, i'm not bitter, and i don't care if you think that way. well i might be sarcastic and loner. but i don't bark at random little kids that annoy me. i just bark at old people who nagged me to get married :p no.... i don't do that, unless it was pms, which by then i claim i have nothing to do with it.
with all seriousness... if anyone asked me, i have never been happier than i am right now. it's been that way for a year or so. i found myself in solitude. i found that i can focus more when i'm alone. so i'm calling this period blessing in disguise.
okay, i do admit, at some point of my life i thought i was going to marry at 25. well i'm kinda glad it didn't happen. because if it did, i would miss a lot! not to belittle anyone who chose to marry young, because i believe everyone has their own story and choices. but for me, if i did get married when i was 25, i would miss a lot of opportunities. it's just the kind of person i am. i will choose my family before anything, and probably would never sit here in this room trying to get my master degree. my days would revolve around getting my husband and kids ready to go about their days, shop for their needs, and be the best wife and mother i could be.
not to say that is a bad choice, but compared to this... gun on my head to force the truth out of me, i still say i'd chose to experience life, which i believe i would not be able to have i been married at 25.
true, at this age, i started missing friends. because when they get married, things change. whether you want it or not, things will change. they will have their 'new' and 'upgraded' life, and it will no longer fit the definition of life that you have. but hey, it's life, it's choices, so i'm not saying one way is better than the other. and yes, you could still hang out, just not the way you used to. tough, life goes on :)
do i want to share my life with someone? yes i do, very much! i just don't want that 'someone' to be 'anyone'. and my mother would say, "be realistic, you're almost 30, your time is running out, your choices are limited, so stop being picky." and again, i would shrug and tell her, "when the time comes, you'll be the first to know."
am i opening myself to anyone right now? um... i can't answer that. i mean, right now, i'm in a place where i want to put myself first. so it's kinda tricky, when someone asked me whether i want to get involved with anyone at the moment. what i learned about me is that i can't have too many things going on around me. so, forgive me for sounding so juvenile, for me, being in love, or the idea of a relationship, would mess up my 5-year-plan :)
but not totally closing it, i mean, when the right one comes along, when God permitted him to stroll along my way at the moment, and he's truly the one. i'm not saying no. but i'm not waving signs and say 'marry me please' at the moment either.
so 29 and single... i don't mind, it's just that people around me do mind. and i get it, they're just concern. that's why i never snapped at any of them (at least not the people i don't know, the people i know, would have better judgement than to nag me 24-7). it is hard sometimes, and kinda pathetic when the most dialed number in your phone bill are your parents' :p but i'm in good place right now. really i am :)
