song for me....and you

it's hard though, but hey... this is for you dul... i love you
but i hope you smile every time you think of me, as i would every single second of my life.
you're a part of me, i have to let go, but it doesn't mean i'm giving up our dreams, i still keep it in the back of my mind, for me to retrieve when the time's right

i've never loved anyone like i love you, you're the best i have

but it's true you know... we're perfect, but perfect couldn't keep this love alive



remember all the things we wanted
now all our memories, they're haunted
we were always meant to say goodbye

even with our fists held high
it never would've worked out right
we were never meant for do or die

i didn't want us to burn out
i didn't come here to hurt you
now i can't stop

i want you to know that it doesn't matter
where we take this road
someone's gotta go
and i want you to know
you couldn't have loved me better
but i want you to move on
so i'm already gone

looking at you makes it harder
but i know that you'll find another
that doesn't always make you want to cry

started with a perfect kiss
then we could feel the poison set in
perfect couldn't keep this love alive

you know that i love you so
i love you enough to let you go

i'm already gone, already gone
you can't make it feel right
when you know that it's wrong
i'm already gone, already gone
there's no moving on
so i'm already gone

-kelly clarkson 'already gone'-

starting sunday with stupid :)

lesson learned... again... check your schedule :)

i was speeding through the highway today (160 kmph.... heck yeah!!) because i was in a hurry to get to the studio for my morning gig... just to find out... my shift is @ 9 am not 6 am...

yeah, smart huh??? :)

but hey, it gives me time to be alone with jackie and the lightroom....

so updates on flickr and i have to find something for mommy today, her bday's coming up you know :)

have a great sunday everyone!!!!!!

warning signs

she's dead
so stop looking for her
she's not here anymore
so stop wishing that she is

i'm here
that would be me
a sarcastic bitch with foul mouth
a cold cynical wench
and i couldn't care less

so stop looking for her
she's no longer here
and don't ask me to be her

i'm not her
i'm heartless
i'm cold, unfeeling, bitch

so stop

-090828-

life goes on, move on, i have
it's no longer there, stop looking for things you threw away

airport thoughts

i was sitting in yet another airport, and i scoffed to myslef. i'm living my childhood dream, well one of them at the least. this would be the...umpteenth time (i lost count) that i'm here for the year, and it's only august.

when i was a child, i was always in an awe whenever my aunt had an assignment to go to another island. i always fancy myself going places for business. hey there, guess what... i'm that person now.

i laughed at the fact i am so good at packing now, i can pack for the whole entire week in 30 minutes... and yes, i wore every clothes (talking about efficient in packing huh?!). and i am an expert on using the most of my bagage space. i am that cool. i don't do panic, i packed calmly and efficiently. i heart me.

and all this time, i was bitching and whining about my life. i forgot this one simple thing, right now, i'm this cool laptop carrying chick, who knows the airport by heart, and took the plane regularly for her business trip. i am the chick in my dream :)

painfully beautfiul

beauty is pain
literally

and i believe it too, because i experienced it first hand :)

i mean, look at us ladies, high heels, facial, bikini waxing!!!! those things hurts, and some of them like hell!!! :) for what?? in order for us to look beautiful. and the twisted thing is, we paid for being tortured like that???

yeah well, i guess it's true, women always 'tortured' themselves towards perfection. from the middle age (korset... come on, you think those things are comfortable?), and in china, they do the leg bending (mortal torture, lemme tell you that...) that's really sick right??

but we did them anyway.

ow well, the consequences of being beautiful, you have to go through the pain. just like my mother say.

the independence day

today is indonesia's independence day, but not for me. today i realized how much i even addicted to the pain.

today i realized i need you
constantly

today i realized i have to fight for you
i do

today i realized
today i know
yes, maybe i'll fail
yes, maybe i can't get you in the end
but i can say
i gave it all i have

i love you
i do
you give my life a meaning
you do
it hurts now, i've been here
but if i get you at the end
it will all worth the pain